Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Im part way to drunk.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
