dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
