Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
