I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
