How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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