marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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