did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
