North Korea, Best Korea!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
