I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
