Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
