i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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