Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
