Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well you can't waste a boner
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The adults are the big ones right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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