I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
