GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
