i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
