I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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