You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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