yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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