Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
