i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
