I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
