hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
smell my finger.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
