if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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