Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we have officially lost it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
