we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
