Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize