i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
