Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize