he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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