I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
