that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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