He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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