Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
vagina is talking i cant
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
