Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
as a side note pls kill me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
