its not stalking. its research.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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