i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize