If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
