So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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