ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
