Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
whose parrot is this?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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