I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
