So drunk its hurt
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
