i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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