Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
