do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
