and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
