i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
