Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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