I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
