What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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