she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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