it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
