i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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