she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
