Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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