They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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