farters have to be the big spoon...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
