I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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