Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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