he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize