no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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